It just feels good

I've been in a rut for soooo long and I feel like I have been desperately trying to get out of it. And some days, even weeks I have been successful, but I constantly feel like I have just been falling back into the lack of motivation to do anything good for me on a consistent basis. Do you ever get that way? But I feel like I have a goal in mind that feels reachable, and I just feel like I've turned a good corner. Not one that expects results to happen TOMORROW..but one that is okay with just taking it one day at a time, doing my best and going from there.

So what is different...
1- I made a new running plan that starts super slow...like so slow that I won't be able to run a 1/2 marathon until Next February.
2- I have a playlist of songs that keep me going
3- I have the willpower to resist more often than give in
4- I feel motivated to start my day out with exercise rather than put it off until later in the day.
5- I have mini goals---3 pounds by Justus's wedding, a 5k by September, a 10k by our Anniversary
6- So far it's helping my anxiety..and I need that. A LOT
7- It's feeding into my 'wanderlust'-- even though it feels terrible to think about getting up at 5 to go for a run, when I'm out there and when I get back I just feel so energized and ready to figure out where we are going next with our travel experience.

All for now! xo

Happy June!

For so many reasons June is a fantastic month this year! Dan & Meeka arrived yesterday night!!!!!!!!!!!! Meeka is freaking out a bit, to say the least. Her separation anxiety goes nutsss when she goes to a new place. Poor puppy. I don't think it has sunk in quite yet for Dan that he is here for good. He has a couple interviews tomorrow *wishing him so much luck* with a couple contract companies! I'll keep you posted! We got the apartment put together, but this moving thing is going to take some getting used to! Hopefully we can pair down more of our stuff. So that's the skinny for an update.

To start June off with a bang, and to help me keep up with blogging by doing something simple I thought it would be kind of fun to do a challenge of sorts. #30summerdays photo-a-day challenge I read about from Tina on Carrotsncake. Here's the list she posted:

1 – Rabbit, Rabbit! What brings you good luck?
2 – Monday, ugh! What’s keeping you going today?
3 – Who made you smile today?
4 – Look up. What do you see?
5 – #TBT Share a photo from a past summer trip!
6 – National Doughnut Day! Snap a pic celebrating! Or, what did you have instead?!
7 – Saturday! What are you up to?

8 – Time to relax before the start of the week. What does relaxing look like to you?
9 – Manic Monday! What’s giving you a case of the Mondays?
10 – Is the sun out? Snap a pic! If not, what’s it like out there?
11 – Get over the hump of the week. How were you productive today?
12 – Treat yourself, it’s almost the weekend!
13 – Friday the 13th! Are you superstitious and ducking for cover, or out and about?
14 – Flag Day! Got one flying in the warm breeze?

15 – Happy Father’s Day! Snap a pic or share one of an awesome dad!
16 – Moday motivation. What motivates you?
17 – Got a pet? Share them with the world!
18 – Stretch those legs mid-week and go outside or for a walk. Snap and share!
19 – #OOTD, what are you wearing? Got your summer clothes on?!
20 – Happy Friday! You made it! Smile and say cheese 
21 – HAPPY SUMMER! Take a picture of what summer looks like to you to celebrate!

22 – Sunday Pancakes! Do you have a Sunday breakfast routine?
23 – Got those sandals out? What’s your favorite pair?
24 – What made you happy today?
25 – Are the flowers blooming? Take a picture of your favorite!
26 – Wehew, it’s hot out there. How are you cooling down?
27 – Last Friday of the month, what are you up to?
28 – Is today a beach day? Snap a pic and make everyone jealous!

29 – Go out for a picnic! Make sure to take a picture!

30 – Last day of June, how are you sending it off?

Check out her post here!

It's REAL!!

Dan put in his 2 weeks notice & we have had 12+ call backs to rent the house out! 

Song of the day

Moving On & Moving In

Changes: I'm almost 12 weeks into my first contract! Which means it is almost completed. I have decided to extend..because apparently summer of 2014 is the year to get married & have big life changes!! My friend Justus is getting married (whaaat???) in August, Dan's friend Bobby is getting married 2 weeks before, and my cousin Makylee is getting married in June! Hoping to take a hop over to the east side and visit the family & spend some QT with Lace for Chelan. A & Z are coming to the great pacific northwest for a visit this summer...just a lot of good reasons to keep on keeping on here for a couple more months before we truly dive into the Travel thing. My tendency towards logical rationality has been a HUGE roadblock for me lately. I just can't get away from making sure that Dan & I are making smart decisions in regards to our house, our jobs, our life & how it is all going to affect us in the future..but also torn because I want to just drop everything and run. Be spontaneous, have fun, be kids, go on an adventure! Achieving that balance is proving to be so much harder than it seems on the surface. What is this adult stuff anyway!!!? :) 

So whats new with me: 

• I live in South Seattle now instead of in Federal way/Tacoma. Let us all PAUSE for a moment and be ecstatic that my commute is no longer 50 minutes. 
• My apartment is...let us just say minimalistic :) Dan and I are trying to figure out what all we need to be able to travel and what we can live without. At the moment I'm bunking it on the floor on a mattress topper..wh-hoooo. It's actually not too bad in comparison to the leaky air mattress :) Plus I'm sure I will get my best sleep EVER when I get to sleep on my beloved mattress again. 
• Dan is putting in his 2 weeks notice on this Friday. Everyone keeps asking me...so what is he going to do?? Sigh.. I have to say I hate that question, mostly because I am indecisive and so influenced by others' opinions even though I really do not want to be. The answer is...we honestly just don't know but we do know that we can't be apart like this forever. As long as the house is either rented out or sold we can get by with just me working for awhile, and Dan can get some schooling done or certifications to help him nail down the job he really wants. He has been applying for a LOT of temp I.T. jobs, but hearing back is taking a lot of time. So we decided that at some point we have to just jump and get out of limbo-land. 
• I quit my per diem job in Hood River this month...so I'm finished there for awhile at least. I left on good terms, so if I do need to go back I'm sure they would do their best to try to get me back on staff. 
• My apartment is anti-internet at the moment :) But Dan has set it up for me from afar so it should be coming soon! (Yayyyyy husbands :))
• I've been trying to make myself explore instead of holing up in my apartment.. :) Yesterday I found lots of trails around Interurban Ave that are great for running & walks & dogs and such. Today I'm going to head up towards Alki Beach and check that area out. I'm excited, I haven't been there yet & it is supposed to be mid-70s today! 

Fav of the week

I need a life turnaround!

I seriously need a eating-living-lifestyle makeover. It really is nooot okay the way things are going! I've been wearing a pedometer at work (actually its my phone..which is pretty cool, thank you Samsung) and this last week each day I worked I walked between 12000-19000 steps which equals out to 7-9 miles!! Thats insane, no wonder my feet and legs have been killing me. I went from working 4-6 hours a day, not walking as far during the day to........12 hours 3 days a week and running pretty much alll of those hours! Anyway, so that is one change-- but it seems that my brain says Hey you've been working hard, you deserve a cookie :).. That is totally not helping me fit into my clothes. And I have to say retail therapy is not as enjoyable when I don't fit into the super cute clothes I'm trying on. So today after failing at retail therapy (which is probably a better thing for my wallet..) I went to the gym and did a couple miles on the elliptical and a Zumba class. I forgot how much I like Zumba. I've definitely gotten rusty and I look ridiculous trying to do all the steps but its a good workout and since I now have a gym I'm excited to get back into it. Here's to healthier eating (Asparagus & tilapia for dinner tonight), and getting active. Wish me luck!

I work out!

I found myself a gym with a reasonable month to month price. It also has a cardio-theater...SWEET! I tried to convince lacey to go with me because it lets you have 1 free guest every time you go! This is the first gym that has let me do that, plus access to group classes and machines. Awesome-sauce. I'm pretty psyched to get started, especially since summer is fast approaching! I did my first workout today. Hoping to go to a class later and go again tomorrow. Fitness evolution..don't let me down!! :) 

City strolling

As promised, a few pictures. Got my badge the 2nd day and it always makes things more official! I think that was the point where it started to feel real. I mean how can a short walk from where I'm living and seeing this feel real...

A couple blocks from where I'm living there's a public access beach area, its so pretty when there are blue skies & sunshine! I had a couple days to enjoy so I tried to take advantage. Now its back to cold & rainy, but thats part of the PNW right?

Dealing with parking garages, traffic and driving for what seems like forever to get to work (I've been soo spoiled for the past year living 1 mile from work!!) Its a new way of life :) And I have to say I have to pinch myself when I drive over the viaduct and see the Seattle water front at 6am...what life am I living?? (I miss my husband he needs to see this!! :) Altho I'm certain he would HATE the whole getting up at 5am thing :))

My unlikely patient... :) Cutest guide dog EVER right??? Totally  made my day.

I'll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-xanax-latte to go, please... :) Little coffee shops in sleepy towns. 

 Lacey came over to explore and keep me company after my long crazy workweek. We met up with Laura for the morning which was amaze. Then we went Macaroon hunting at Pike place, got a 15 minute chair massage, pedicures and of course good food to top it off. Soo many laughs & good times!!

 Found World Market downtown.. :) And gawked at a few amazing apartments... we decided we should probably go apartment hunting and pretend we were looking just to see inside. Think they'd be cool with that?

Home away from home

This is my home away from home :) It's got its own entrance to their basement. I have my own little kitchen, bathroom, living space and a bedroom and access to their laundry room too. Besides the drivetime to work its perfect!

 walking into the living area from the basement door 

 The kitchen

The bedroom, if you look out the window there is the hot tub! wh-hooo!

Danielle lives about 20 minutes away south of here so I've been able to meet up with her too. Nice to catch up again. 

Pi Day

My second week is down, not without a few mountains to cross. I'm on my own now, which is fine.. I can be a nurse and thats always the same right?? Maybe essentially at the basis of everything, but it definitely is different going back to a big hospital. All your patients tend to have a different team of doctors on their case, things don't always go as planned (predictable?? nope) New orders flying at you at the same time, they need to be done now, with your new post-op patient arriving still slightly sedated, one of your patient is starting to have a panic attack (when its really you who would like to have your own panic attack...but ain't noobody got time for that!!), NG tubes to be placed for your nauseous patient, meds to be given, check back to make sure your post-op is still breathing, hold your patient's hand & distract them from their worries, explain a new diagnosis to another...can I be in 3 places at once please? Oh crap. its 4pm and I'm starving, I can't think, I need to cry & my feet are killing me...someone please tell me its my Friday.
Thank you. The End.

Missing you

 I miss this guy & our crazy puppy :) 

Life as I know it..

So I have been wracking my brain for ideas of how to occupy my time..usefully..while spending 45-60 minutes on the road. These ideas range from books on CD, to music, to exploring the world of podcasts, to learning a new language...hmm I just want to feel like I am not wasting my time. I hate the idea of spending so much of my day on the road, in traffic or whatever. 

On a slight tangent... I've decided to shift my schedule a little and push myself to get up much earlier than necessary to make it to work much earlier than needed and skip the traffic scene. So maybe this means that after I have driven there I will find a gym and work out prior to my shift? Part of me feels like this is an ambitious goal way out of my reach. I'll let you know how it goes. 

Do you have any brilliant things that you do on your commute to make it feel less wasteful of time? Please enlighten me!!

On the Road again..

Week 2 is beginning. Tomorrow. :) I'm looking forward to it and slightly nervous which I expected but always throws you a little bit if you know what I'm saying. I had a nice couple of days with my hubby at home. Actually it was more like I got to spend sporadic moments with him on Sunday (while I wasn't being called into work for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd time...) and then we went out on Monday night had a delicious steak sandwich & a taster tray..yummm and hung out and watched a few shows in the evening. It was quite nice and relaxing..just what I needed before I start my next week!

I think the one thing I am thankful for this week is that I will get to have a look at my schedule for the next month! Holy moley, I'm getting anxious to just know when I'm working next and when I will be off! At this point I kind of don't even care if it is every other day... I just want to KNOW! I'm sure I will change my tune once I get my schedule but...we'll just go with it.

I brought a few more things back to Lisa's with me (my home away from home) to help me feel a little more settled and less like I am traveling--which tends to mean I like to eat out (aka get fat-er) and spend a crap ton of money (aka ruin my lovely budget!!)

With tax season coming up & Dan & I owing a bunch on our taxes I have been more focused on my YNAB and realizing how so very grateful I am that dan and I decided to take the plunge and just get through the first 2-3 months of budgeting. WOW its amazing how much we have paid off when I look back at it. And... this year I realize even more that I would be flipppppping out if I owed this much and I didn't know where all my money was going. Ah, the lack of guilt with spending is such the best I have to say. Okay silly rant over :).

I said I was going to get pictures up, but I have temporarily misplaced my camera...sooo a funny very unrelated video is going to have to do. Omg I am enjoying this video so much. I hope you do too :)

Seattle Traveling Week #1

And so it has begun. Our adventure in Seattle. At the moment is only me up here. I got here a couple of nights ago and I will be up here til Saturday now since plans changed a little bit. Thankfully it was easily straightened out this time. I'm looking forward to the next couple of days because I will be closer to finding out my schedule for the rest of the month! It's so hard to be patient for it to be available for me I feel like I have been hanging by a thread. Anyway..soon enough. I had my first orientation day on Wednesday, it consisted of mostly online education modules...yayyy Healthstream. But, its good to have a few days to get settled and figure out how to get places and everything.

The class was full of 8 other nursing travelers besides me so that was awesome because I got to pick their brains a little about what to expect and what things to keep in mind and any tips that they had. They were all really nice. Funny how its easy to make friends with people when you are all in a similar situation. Feels a little crazy! Tomorrow I have my computer charting training. Which is kind of funny since I already have worked with the computer system and have gone through learning how to use it several times with both hospitals I have previously worked at. Should be another okay day.

My goal for tomorrow is to try another route to get to work. See which way is the quickest and most painless as far as traffic and time goes. I am trying to test out routes and what time will be good to leave the house to get to work on time. I'm a little neurotic what can I say. I was that girl who had to leave the house at exactly 7:08 to get to school 5 minutes before 8am during college...I know it sounds crazy but I swear for some reason traffic patterns seem to change if you leave 5 minutes earlier or later and that was the sweet spot. So I'm shooting for finding the sweet spot for this place. That and I might need some good CDs or books on tape to pass the 1-1.5 hours I will be spending on the road... wh-hoooo....apparently this is what I do for the sake of comfort. I'll tell you how my living situation is another day. :) ...with pictures!

Unpredictable

I was woke up by a phone call today calling me with more shifts to work this month! Wh-hoooo! As much as I would love to enjoy having almost this whole week off... somehow I can't when I am laden down by the possibility that my husband is convinced he is getting laid off within the next couple months coupled with the fact that most of the shifts that I actually am already scheduled for.... I am likely to be called off or will only be allowed to work 1/4 of... sigh. Who ever thought I would be hungry for more hours at work?? The downside of living in a small healthy-ish town with a good hospital...its small, low turnover, and it takes a lot of seniority to work your way up . I can think of so many "if-only's" right now it drives me crazy, but I digress...you never realize how good you have it until its gone! The take home message...life changes in a moment, and you can only depend on its unpredictability. And I mean that in the least cynical way possible. Basically all of this is reminding me that I need to be soo grateful every day for what I have because in some way that I don't even understand right now it's allowing me to grow and learn...
Anyway! The whole reason I got the bug to blog was a song that has been on my list of favorites lately.

" I don't negotiate with insecurities, they're going to have to take a backseat.
No more second guessing, no there's no more questioning, I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be, no concealing feelings, or changing seasonally, I'm going to love myself the way I want you to love me. No more standing in my own way"

Katy Perry has spoken! Or sung..whatever. I love it.

Journalling

I have so many journals lying around, but somehow they all seem untouchable. I don't want to write in any of them...maybe because they are blank and if they stay blank they have so much more possibility than if I fill them up with useless crap that I go back and read and cringe that I ever wrote it in the first place. My hesitation for writing in them stems mostly from the fact that I rarely will finish them and I hate the thought of choosing one and not being successful at it, how silly to let the fear of not finishing be what holds you back from even beginning!

Journals I would like to keep up with!

• Anniversary Smash book---every anniversary there is an entry... 
• New Year's Journal--every new years there is an entry...
• Birthday Book-- every year on your birthday there is an entry. 
• Book of lists--every type... like this one :) 

I need to learn how to dive in. :)

My Bad Habits

• Inconsistent healthiness & all or nothing work-outs
• Starting too many projects and not getting talented at one thing. 
• Being a consumer 
• Doing things halfway and not to the best of my ability 
• Taking things personally when they have absolutely nothing to do with me 
• Worrying about things I cannot change. 
• Letting embarrassment take over me. 
• Allowing society to influence my expectations for how things should be... in relationships, at work, in life. 
• Not communicating my thoughts or feelings

Happy 2014

I have to admit this is one of my most favorite and least favorite times of the year. Why? Because A) Its acceptable to contemplative, reflective, to promote growth and progress in your own life and learn about what other people want for themselves, its a fresh start, a new normal, a re-evaluation period, and a clean slate. (Ok, maybe that qualifies as more than just A...) I just feel an equal love & dislike for the same reasons. It kind of makes me cringe in a way because it's a little cliche (ok a lot..) and fad-like, and I despise doing things simply because that is what society decided was a good idea at the time. At the same time, it is quite nice to have the reassurance and justification for such thoughts and actions...especially when its a inevitable that we would feel like the start of a new year is a refresh point. How is that for a lengthy run-on explanation?
There are just so many things I want to do, and it seems like this is another new start where I can re-evaluate what I want and where I want to go from here and how far I have come. Anyway. The point to all of this little rant is a post from Pinterest that I have decided to participate in.

THIS YEAR 

A bad habit I would like to break.... I want to learn how to put things away instead of putting them down as a way of de-cluttering my life, maybe in more ways that just the literal...increasing the organization in my life.

A new skill I would like to learn... I fail at being consistent with  most things. Especially being consistently healthy. I want to learn how to be consistently active, how to consistently eat healthier. Of course that is a hard thing to achieve...and a lot to expect of myself. But the thought comes to mind--everything in moderation. It doesn't have to be all or nothing & I need to realize  and remember that.
Less philosophically... I want to learn how to knit animals, practice yoga, and cultivate life in my garden :)

A person I would like to be more like... I am really good at closing into myself instead of opening up to people. There are a lot of people I would like to be more like but I think traits are something I would rather focus on than just being like someone, because I want to be more of Myself rather than pretending. Adding in those traits that make me a better person... like strength, loving, peacemaker, forgiving..

A good deed I am going to do.... pay it forward to a stranger, donate my couponing extras, learning medical Spanish.

A place I would like to visit.... hands down, North Carolina & the East coast.

A book I would like to read... I truly don't read enough anymore. This is another place that consistency needs to play a part in. I want to read at least 12 books this year. And on top of that I want to know better the most important book of all, the bible.

A letter I am going to write... I'm not sure I have just one letter to write. Although I have always wanted to write one of those letters to yourself in 10 years, or a letter to Us to open on our 10th anniversary? That would be fun. Writing letters is an art form I would love to add back into my life. If nothing else at minimum I want to write 1 love letter and many thank you letters :).

A new food I want to try... I want to challenge myself to do a 21 day cleanse. But besides that for Christmas my sister put together a binder of recipes.... I want to add to it so that I can add in the special family recipes that I always want to remember. I want to try at least 5 new recipes.

I am going to do better at... Allowing growth, managing my stress/worry/anxiety, being minimalistic, allowing change, making more consistent healthy choices, learning about the 2nd year of marriage, increasing organization, de-cluttering my life and home, worrying less about things I cannot change, communicating my thoughts and feelings, not taking things personally, doing things halfway and not to the best of my ability, starting too many projects.

1st Anniversary

We took a day & a spent the night in downtown Portland. We Hotwired for a hotel which was a new experience & actually kind of fun! The hotel we got was really nice for a good price! 

 My silly husband popping the champagne :) <3 love him!

Since our wedding cake was donuts, and we ate the top part of the cake at the reception, I had a mini chocolate cake made at the local bakery in hood river. Happy 1 year babe, here's to many many more!